So where I have I been? That question has so many answers. But if you are referring to Facebook, welp I gave it up for a fast at church. What started out as 40 days has now exceeded 60. That’s how it all got started anyway.
When considering what to give up I thought about the goal – to get closer to God. You deprive yourself in a fast in order to seek him more. By depriving you also gain knowledge or wisdom you may not otherwise be able to experience. As a SAHM it had become so easy to scroll through my feed and comment or chuckle here and there between sets on the barbell, while waiting for kids, or nursing my little guy. But Lord knows it never stopped there. Even when not on FB, my thoughts would drift to something I read or saw. What happened to being present? Hmmm. I could easily look around a doctor’s office or wait in line somewhere and be the only one not buried in my phone. Was I missing moments? I would’nt know if I didn’t take this bold step to find out.
The first few days I felt as though I lost a limb. How would I communicate with the outside world? I was lonely at times. Like everything else in society, this was instant connection to people. I had to focus on the phrase ( and sometimes say it outloud) “In lonliness seek Him. ” To my surprise I was contacted by plenty of cool people throughout my journey. And guess what? We had REAL conversations! That prompted me to reach out more and actually contact folks that were on my mind.
I had an epiphany these last few weeks. Why was I not using the huge opportunity to share??? Instead of the standard answer to why I have left Facebook being for church (which I still partially give) I could actually use that open door and give testimony to others that I’d never imagine talking about Jesus to. Now the good Lord knows I am far from perfect & a sinner who has hit some major bumps even during this prayerful time, but I could also name a thousand different ways I have been blessed. Me? A vessel? Who’d a thunk it?!
This has been a huge time of change for my family also. Herm and I have prayed for the path that God wants for our family. We had been without fulltime employment for a few months and I felt that by eliminating some of the outside distractions, as a family we could focus more on our immediate needs. We recently found out that that road will lead us to Louisiana and put Herm in a great job he is anxious to start. With that revelation came so many more questions – do we move now, wait until my daughter graduates, leave her here for her senior year? We came to the decision that I will stay in San Diego with the kids until June of 2014. Having this “quiet time” made such a huge life decision bearable. I trusted my faith completely and continue to do so.
Now I might be back here and there every now and again. I truly do miss some of the smiles that crossed my face with posts of good news, inspiration and endless silliness. But moderation is just not something I can say I’m ready for. I can’t give my best to my family when my thoughts are elsewhere. So I will hang out for a few days and catch up. Message me if you’d like to keep in contact .